Posts tagged personal.
So I submitted a photo to RedditGetsDrawn and someone named toverbai did this and I think it is SO neaaaaat.
If anyone plays Minecraft on Playstation, ADD ME. I’m tinderhearts. :)
"The collected experiences of all of us within the LGBTQ community."
His first two posts went up today so give it a whirl. SHOW HIM SUM LUV WITH A FOLLOW.
Now we just have to meet so I can throw my two cents into the collective. :)
Spending Christmas Eve with this guy, playing Skyrim, watching The Holiday, and getting Chinese takeout.
When I was 18 someone hurt me. My first reaction was to run, to get away from him and everything and everyone that connected us. I deleted my Facebook at 2 a.m., stopped answering calls and texts and shut my phone off to stop receiving them. I told my roommate I was going to study in the library on main campus. He was up late watching Supernatural, a show we’d started together but he’d ended up watching alone.
I maintained my composure walking around to the front of the building. It was too late for anyone to exit the doors without sounding an alarm.
Phone calls are such a easy fix for the acknowledgement of fact. You get to say what you need to say and then hang up. But he hadn’t hung up. I had. I’d done so before I’d given him the opportunity. You never get to see the person on the other end of the line after the phone call ends, so be careful how your voice carries.
I found my car. The air was warm enough yet where I didn’t need a jacket. My car was starting to show signs of age, it took a couple turns before kicking in. I wasn’t really sure where I was going but I followed the signs, remembering the directions some girl in orientation had told me to go. Winona had beautiful bluffs that you could drive up to, with a short stone wall that you could lean over and overlook the entire city. Nothing between you and everything beneath you. This place was called Garvin Heights.
After twenty minutes straight up, I found white lines to indicate parking. It got windier with each step away from my car. Though the lights of the path led the way to the edge, my legs were giving away beneath me. I had no intentions. I wasn’t going to do anything, I kept telling myself. But then what was I doing? Why was I alone? An endgame without a reason for the journey is just foolish.
Winona was an island of lights, nestled between the Mississippi and twin lakes, a claustrophobic beauty. I knew no one and nothing and I was completely alone. But in a way that felt new. A way that felt empty.
This was the only time in my life where I actually contemplated ending it.
And then I turned around, drove back to ground level, and found my way back to Maria Hall, room 303.
I never really looked back on that moment until recently. It was stupid and selfish and it would have accomplished nothing. I was a fucking idiot who didn’t know what love felt like.
Four years later and I have more love than I know what to do with.
I’m writing this to acknowledge the moment. And now I’m going to let it go.
when my boyfriend leaves, I binge drink Diet Coke, listen to Avril Lavigne and take selfies.
I miss you when you’re away for more than an hour and I’m not sure if that says more about me or you.